


Food was scarce, and everyone survived (barely) on a steady diet of porridge and potatoes. The water supply was constantly contaminated by the rotting corpses in the cemetery up the hill (D-minus for the town planner). Even though the town’s population had grown exponentially in recent years, there was no sewerage or sanitary systems. To accommodate the expanding brood, Patrick moved his family to the village of Haworth, West Yorkshire. (OK, maybe there was a bit of sex… unprotected sex, apparently.) They rapidly produced six offspring: Maria (born 1814), Elizabeth (1815), Charlotte (1816), Branwell (1817), Emily (1818) and Anne (1820). In 1812, a clergyman from a barely-literate Irish family, Patrick Brontë, met and married the love of his life, Maria. There’s not a whole lot of sex/drugs/rock’n’roll in the Brontë story, but bear with me.
